I was going to be a star. A rock star of Accounting. I was gonna be the WOMAN, January 1st through April 15, and I was plugging away trying to make my mark in Corporate America. For the first few years all was going according to plan. I was rapidly rising in the Finance department of one of the largest health insurers in the world. At first I made a series of lateral moves in order to get familiar with my surroundings and it was all good. I was that bitch! The go to girl for all things Accounts Payable...trending, payment methods, vendors, suppliers, medical providers, LAWSUITS out the ass, I was the gatekeeper. I was good at what I did so I decided I would venture out to see what other opportunities awaited me in this place that I had come to think of as a "second home" then...the fuckery began.
Now, part of the fuckery that occurred I must take responsibility for because like Tiger Woods and O.J. Simpson, I believed I was part of the "team" even though in hindsight, I never really remember anyone treating me like anything but the help, but I was geeked up!! You could not tell me they didn't appreciate my invaluable contribution. Besides that, I thought my relationship with "the man" was a safe one. All but one manager/director/supervisor that I've had in my entire corporate career, has taken me to the side to tell me they were proud of me for being such a shining star. That I was articulate and didn't seem to be angry all the time like some of my other co-workers. It had been that way with people in positions of authority my whole life...school, college and the workplace but I was never offended by the slights to my contemporaries because I thought I was really smart too. I thought 'Yeah.....Essence, LaShawnda, and Pilar (my co-workers with melanin) better quit being so short with these folks...CHECK THE ATTITUDE AT THE DOOR, LADIES!!!! and you too can be a star like me. You could not tell me shit!
So I applied for a few......uh several positions within the company and I got several nibbles and even a few interviews but nothing would ever stick. I just could not figure it out. Then I started catching shade from all over the place. My new boss of 2 months, who had no college degree...not even a credit hour to mention was starting to accuse me of dropping the ball, repeatedly. Misusing databases, and losing data. They were pulling out 1st drafts of things I had created and were currently in use by at least 2 departments, and forcing me to "prove" that I had actually been working. What the fuck! This country-dumb heifer had no clue what was even on these databases or how to use them. When I presented the current information and tried to review it with her, I was met with the blankest of blank stares followed by "OK Hon.." I felt I was reviewing the EFT Analysis with Rose Nyland just 20 years older and with brain damage. A few days later, Maureen, my most hated co-worker told me that I would be excluded from a conference since I was "so desperate to leave the department". How in the hell did she know I wanted to leave the department? All of my job inquiries had been online, I hadn't spoken to any of my co-workers about leaving my position. I was 007 about the whole thing! The only people who could have known, were my superiors, and they were gossiping about me like some 9th grade bitches to my equals. This was the beginning of the end.
Finally!!! It was in sight......the promotion that would take me into the stratosphere. Financial Analyst for the Treasury Department. I had made the appropriate contacts, mastered all the prerequisites. About the same time, the high functioning retarded girl who was the secretary, needed to switch positions. Her lazy ass had become so complacent, that her lazy, trifling boss was starting to be exposed. Neither could explain the loss of department mail and other essential functions of the department, so rather than cut the cancer out, they gave it to me. Cancer of the ASS! Just a big ol' cumbersome, painful cyst on my ass. To put it plainly, the girl is dumb as a box of rocks. I spent 5 weeks training her to do the simplest task (data entry) only to be met with an expression so stupid it made my eyes cross! I would ask, "Did you hear me?" "I don't get it" she said. Followed by, "I wanna go smoke.", and when she came back it was as if it was the first time I'd seen her that day. I just had to shake my head.
In my next meeting with my stupid stupid boss, she informed me that the stoopid secretary was now ready to take over half of my workload, including my babies...my trending databases that were being used by more than 2 departments. Ain't than a bitch.
In the weeks that followed, there was less and less talk about my promotion. Now I could familiarize myself with the Treasury Department information "if I wanted to". I knew less about the department happenings and Stoopid was throwing more shade every day. One day the bitch went and tattled on me that I wasn't being "helpful" enough to her...and I was REPRIMANDED!!! Muthaf***a! 'What in the hell is going on here!' was all I could think...then they let me know.
The next meeting I went to was with a few HR reps, My Stupid Manager/Rose Nyland and her boss. I was told my position was being eliminated and to basically get out.
Well fuck them then.
For some reason, I carried my purse with me to this meeting rather than lock it in my desk as usual, so today, there was no reason for me to return the floor. Rose Nyland was all in my face asking if I was okay as she walked me out of the building. I knew she didn't give a shit but I was. I was okay! There was a freedom I had never felt before! I was liberated!
I went to Bath and Body Works. Got some new bath salts and body butter and went home and chilled until my baby got home. I told him what happened and what my plan was for after the severance pay ran out. It all came to me rather quickly. It was supernatural!
I managed a tax preparation place before I decided to go to Barber School. I was young, barely 33. I always had a thing for black hair but I had been practicing on women up to this point. With my mothers encouragement and my fathers example (he's a barber too for more than 35 years), I made that move and I have embarked on the best adventure of my life so far. Believe me when I say, I am not doing any hard time in that Shop with my dad, but it is in no way easy.
Gaining that trust with my clients is a daunting task at times. At first sight, I don't fit in but after several months I'm finding my groove and I have loved every day of it so far. It's true what they say that it's not work if you love what you're doing and the characters in the shop make all the slow days worth it. Building my income back up to what it used to be will be a challenge but my family has embraced the change because they see that I am happier and more relaxed. I mean really...what kind of mother tells her kids they are laughing too loud?!?!?! I would (blank stare). Change is good.
I still love academia, I still love Accounting but I'm done trying to get in where I don't fit in. I don't know who I was trying to impress but nobody was happy when I was living that corporate ladder climbing lifestyle. I moved on (...or was I pushed?). Who cares. I'm better for it.
